How positive are you? Can you say that you are shining with the radiant energy of goodness and happiness, that you are doing “better than anyone”? Or do you read this passage with frowning eyebrows, waiting for some dirty trick? Do not worry, this article is full of love and friendship, there are even pictures.
And if you frown, you can understand. In the end, it is human nature to coot, sniff, and sulk. But is it worth living under the influence of negative emotions, complaining about everyone and dragging others around you into the depths of depression? Hardly. And if we realize that we are wasting time on complaints, is it easy to correct? Not really. The habit not just to change the habit, you need a little patience. But is it necessary to start sometime? With due persistence everything is possible, even a change of emotional attitude. And happiness!
"Quitting smoking is easy, I myself threw a hundred times" - Mark Twain
So, stop complaining. Purposely. Or at least try! Awareness of the goal is the first step.
Quitting complaining is like quitting smoking. If you stretch a couple of weeks, it becomes easier. Life itself begins to be built differently, in accordance with the changes in ourselves. It is only necessary to withstand the initial period, which is not so easy, and develop a new habit.
You say: "I need help, some key to happiness." So make it up! Well, or try this:
Take a sheet of paper and draw a vertical line. Accountants among us are already starting to discern what's what, huh? And right! On the left we list the flow of positive emotions, and on the right - the arrival. What is funny, the arrival is almost always higher than the expense. Try it if you do not believe.
An important point: think of the costs of positive energy, as a short-term loss, and of income - as a profit for a long period. Someone you Naham? Trivia, tomorrow will be forgotten. Even paying attention is not worth it. This is just a splash of their own negative energy, which means they have a problem, not you. The authorities assured that you are the most beautiful, wonderful and, in general, without you - in any way, nowhere and even the inevitable financial catastrophe? This is already a plus for a career. This is a long time. It is so? Of course so! Feel free to write in the parish.
Often the negative can be turned into a positive. For example, if you, a solid and very busy man (if, of course, you are a solid and very busy man, but this is not the point,) ordered sushi delivered to your office, forgot to put chopsticks in a bag, what should you do? You have a choice. You can boil, complain, tell everyone about the professional shortcomings of employees in the catering industry and dig up cabinets with last year's accounts in a vain search for a stray plastic fork. And you can just take up food with your hands. If the secretary starts to giggle, it can be noted that the samurai have done so (“Why am I not a man in my prime?”). Tradition, however. In general, only women have chopsticks in Japan. So that. If you pout and grumble about men in general and you in particular, let me read this article. Or say something like: "It is so instituted that you do not under any circumstances pick your lovely hands. And we can." Positive is guaranteed. You can eat peacefully, and the people around are satisfied and believe that everything is going according to plan. And what is not a plan, in fact? In general, if the life has slipped to you a pig, prepare marinade for a shish kebab.
How, you say, not to complain at all? And if the pig is very large and in one step it does not digest? Reasonable. In such cases, just do not dwell on the problem. A couple of gentle to the address of violators of nirvana and go through life further in search of pleasant surprises. Their tons, honestly.
The hardest of all is for those who draw the negative from the positive. Do you know such characters? A sort of pathological whiners. Well, they can not without negativity. If they win the lottery, they complain that this did not happen a week earlier. If you treat them to Dorblu, they will complain of mold. That is often the kind word to say scary, because the unclean will be suspected. As in that joke:
- How is your health?
- Do not wait!
It is common for people to blame everyone and everything except themselves. But awareness of the problem - the first and most important step to the solution of this. Unfortunately, he is also the most difficult. But if the negative comes from us, if we accumulate it, we must show our will and take the path of the positive. Whiners just give up and take the negative, as a matter of course. They enter a depressive rut and roll on it back and forth, and the rut only becomes deeper. Getting out of her is very difficult. But nothing is impossible! Raise your spirits, help the sadder next to you. Happiness is contagious, and this is very good.
Need to start with yourself
If you have not done so already, think about what makes you complain. Do you have to do something that you don’t like? Are you annoyed by someone around you? Maybe you just get tired? Identify the causes and remind yourself of them when your mood goes bad.
Knowledge of the trigger mechanism of depressive behavior avoids the cycle of discontent and complaints.
Any changes in life must begin with ourselves. After all, we are the main constant in our lives, no matter what we do. Can we run away from ourselves? No, but we can change. Take a look in the mirror - what do you see? Unhappy, tired man? Do you want to try a great trick? Smile at him. Smiled? Good. And what did he do, smiled back? Wonderful! Do not wave. Of course, a mirror is a mirror. Here are just people in the mass empathic at the instinctive level, mirror. Smile to the man, and he will smile back. Maybe not immediately, not the first time. Maybe he was so in a rut of mistrust and depression that he simply could not immediately turn off the well-trodden path. If you find the strength to smile, help others. Help by example, nothing else is required. And everyone will be happy!
Give thanks as opposed to discontent
If you wish, you can find something good in any trouble. Focus your attention and emotional impact on the pleasant, discard the negative. This is not so difficult and requires only a minimal change of emotional attitude. And if the situation is not determined, do not tune in to a bad outcome, because you will doom yourself to frustration in advance. In other words, if the weather is bad, do not complain. Do not sit and wait until the storm passes. It is better to plunge into the raging sea with your head. Do not be afraid to soak your feet in a puddle. Remember how you spanked him as a child, raising splashes. Was it fun? Someone will look at the clouds, and frown, and someone will run out into the street and will play in the rain. What's better?
Summarize. Here's what you get when you stop complaining:
You will have:
- Less stress
- Less pain
- Less offense
- Less suffering
You will become:
- More happy
- More healthy
- More calm
- More productive
- More positive
- More joyful
- More tolerant
- More successful
- More self-confident
Add to this an improved relationship with friends, family, and indeed all of humanity. For all this, shouldn't you change your views on life?
If you stop complaining, life will become easier, there will be no feeling of having to constantly get stuck in disputes, there will be time and a desire to just enjoy life. After all, she is beautiful, is not it? And happiness is contagious.
Well, well, are all complaints so bad?
Not. In some cases, complaints can be quite productive. Just do not forget to direct the negative in the right direction. Ask yourself what you want to achieve with complaints. Find a solution to the problem? Explain the situation to others to avoid repetition? Find the cause of your shortcomings? This is good, useful.
Concentrate on what annoys you, and throw out the accumulated negative energy. Feel better? Then it is time to forget about these unpleasant little things in life, smile and move on.